I haven’t been on tumblr is so long. I really only came back looking for one specific post of mine. But I ended up just reading the last text entries I posted before I stopped being on here. Public and private. That was about two, maybe three years ago. I gotta say, I was a fuckin mess. It’s almost cringy how much of a mess I was considering how much I’ve moved on since then. On my private, my thought processes and way of vieiwng things from around that time are so immature. I mean there was an underlying reason for it (insecurities, a need for validation and assurance etc.) but it still annoys me that I thought that way back then. I’m doing better now. I no longer question the reasons why those things happened to me. I don’t lose sleep over figuring out what I did wrong. I sucked up my pride and do know someone of the things I did personally that led to those events but I don’t put all the blame on myself like I did 3 years ago. Maybe only 10%. Idk, I guess I’m just genuinely happy rn. Although I haven’t completed all the goals I claimed I was going to accomplish the following years but that’s ok. I’m going at my own pace and I know one day I’ll accomplish them. It’s crazy to think how far I’ve come emotionally and mentally since that draining part of my life and I’m glad to say that I’ve been over it for a looooong time now. Anyways I’m just rambling. I don’t do that as often anymore. Maybe I’ll come back to tumblr and use it to vent like I used to when I first made one. Before reblogs were a thing and my timeline was over saturated with random pictures and cliche poetry.